Anyway, I am a college student at Bloomsburg University and I am on spring break. Yeah, Spring break. WOOHOO! Not. I haven't exactly seen any of my friends and it is Tuesday. A weekend has already passed and I have been home. I am probably now in the same position as I was last year this time of the year. I will get into that later, but for now, all you need to know is that I was in a psychiatric unit and then could not go to school, hence the staying home.
I thought, during winter break, that my boyfriend would be coming home with me for spring break and I was excited, seeing as how he rarely visits me at home. We go to college together but live about two and a half hours away from each other. It turns out that he did not come home with me and it seems as if he would rather not be with me. I don't know; part of me thinks the relationship is on its way to the trash, but I want to work on it because I love him. Maybe things will be better when we get back.
I have been bored all break so far, watching movies, working on homework--mainly chemistry--and taking care of my dog. Don't get me wrong, I love my dog more than anything and I am a movie fanatic. It is just that I feel like I am isolating myself. Well, I am isolating myself and I know that I shouldn't.
I used to waste away with just my sister and parents periodically coming into my room to see if I am alive. But that was last year, and this is now. I need to get over my past and realize that I can move on. I do not want this spring break--or what is left of it--and this summer to be a repeat. I need to get better and I will.
Well, currently my sister is in her room with a helium balloon running from there and my room to talk to me in her high voice. It's funny, but at the same time I feel like I should tell her to stop because people go from Helium to other drugs in a matter of hours. All it takes in that initial push. I know most people think that this is bullshit, but it is true. I used to do drugs. I have friends who did. And all it takes is curiosity, peer pressure, a weak moment, or almost anything. Then POOF, there you are with a blunt, a mirror with cocaine, a syringe. It depends who you are and how far you will go. My sister is sixteen as of last week and I want her to stay pure of drugs. I do not want her to be like me. She has so much potential and I want her to stay that way. All in all, I love my sister and she is one of my best friends.
So now it is time for dinner, and I feel I have bored you enough with my life. Goodbye!
